Prepare or review a boundary conversation · S8.3

Review a difficult boundary conversation

A limit-setting conversation was difficult and you want to understand what happened.

Everyday practice

Try these steps

1. Write the limit you intended to communicate and the words you actually used.
2. Note what the other person did and what factors affected your options. You do not need to find a lesson or benefit.
3. Choose one possible adjustment, such as a clearer sentence, a different setting, support, or ending the conversation.

An example

I said I was busy but did not say I could not take the task. Next time I may state that directly.

Reflect

What was within your control, and what was not?

Next time

Keep responsibility for the other person’s response separate from the clarity of your words.