State a need or make a request · S14.13

Separate an internal worry from a shared request

You have an inner conflict that is affecting how you speak to someone.

Everyday practice

Try these steps

1. Name the worry or competing needs privately in plain language.
2. Identify what you actually need the other person to know or do.
3. Make that request without requiring them to resolve your whole internal conflict.

An example

I want company and also quiet. Could we spend time together without a long conversation?

Reflect

Did the request express the relevant need?

Next time

Adjust it as you learn what helps.