Setbacks and self-kindness

Choose the situation that fits. Explore 27 practices and open the steps you want to try.

Respond fairly to a mistake or setback

Find a next step after a setbackSomething did not go as planned, and you want to decide what to do next.
Respond to yourself after a mistakeYou are criticizing yourself and want to try language that is fair without dismissing what happened.
Respond fairly when your actions miss a valueYou acted differently from what you intended and want to consider repair without attacking yourself.
Model a fair response to a mistakeSomeone is watching how you respond to your own everyday error.
Describe an attempt without attacking yourselfA difficult ordinary task did not go as you hoped.
Use a fairer tone with yourselfYou notice that your self-talk is harsh after a mistake.

Find a strength in something you actually didYou want to identify an ability you could draw on without having to describe yourself positively.
Recognize a strength without proving your worthA difficult moment has made your abilities hard to see.
Notice what helped alongside what hurtYou want a fuller picture of a difficult day without being told to be grateful for it.
Notice a support that has matteredYou want to recognize something helpful without being grateful for hardship.
Identify resources for a difficult ordinary taskYou want to know what could support you before deciding how to proceed.
Map where an ability has appearedYou want evidence of a strength across different parts of life.
Notice something you appreciate, if it fitsYou want to acknowledge a helpful or meaningful detail without pretending the whole day was good.

Choose an activity you care aboutYou want to make space for an activity that has meaning for you, even if motivation is uncertain.
Turn self-kindness into a practical actionYou know the words 'be kind to yourself' but need something concrete to do.
Make room for something meaningfulSelf-doubt is crowding out an activity you care about.
Separate needing support from blaming yourselfYou want help with present-day self-blame after a difficult experience.
Choose an activity without making it a treatment taskYou want something ordinary to do that fits your present interests and capacity.

Answer a harsh thought accuratelyYour self-talk has turned a mistake into a judgment of your whole self.
Recognize the start of a self-critical loopYou notice the same harsh thought repeating after certain situations.
Respond to distress without adding self-blameYou are criticizing yourself for finding a moment difficult.
Use a fair sentence when self-criticism appearsYou want wording that recognizes a difficult moment without attacking yourself.
Keep a fair tone with yourself while saying noYou are judging yourself for wanting or stating a limit.
Use the standard you would apply fairly to someone elseYou are judging yourself by a rule you would not use for another person.
Write a useful reminderYou want a short reminder to consult in a familiar difficult moment.

Practice being a beginnerYou would like to try an ordinary activity without grading your performance.
Let an adequate result be enough for this taskYou are polishing a low-stakes task beyond its purpose.

Skill Links × Orbforma

Meet a setback with useful reflection and a kinder next step.